


Vow

by rarepairsinmycup



Series: Building A Home (on hiatus) [20]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Communication, Consent, Cuddling & Snuggling, Ficlet, Loving Marriage, M/M, Men Crying, Oral Sex, Series, impotency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 08:09:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20170987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarepairsinmycup/pseuds/rarepairsinmycup
Summary: Shunsui's problems begin to bleed over into other areas of his life.





	Vow

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over 'Bleach' nor am I profiting from this.

Juushiro's presence has been enough, should be enough now. Kisses coupled with tongue and teeth on the sensitive areas ought to have him a mess. Shunsui covers his face, torn between horror and embarrassment as his partner continues trying. Normally, Juushiro is the one requiring extra time and medication. 

“I'm sorry,” he mumbles, reaching down with his free hand to pet his thin shoulders. “Am I less of a man for admitting how embarrassing this is? Teenager? I couldn't keep from coming in my pants over the smallest touch and now? I can't even keep an erection…” 

“I have to step inside our bathroom for a minute.” Juushiro's thin frame wiggles from beneath his hand. “You've done nothing wrong but I prefer brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and cleaning you up properly.”

Shunsui doesn't even wait for the bathroom door to creak as its closed. Pajamas, wrinkled from being discarded on the floor are back on. A much better ponytail would suit him for bed given how much he has been tossing and turning lately but its too much work. Even pulling his hair into a sloppy ponytail is work, something which his partner cannot abide by. Juushiro removes the brush from his hand, sinking onto his knees and shushing the mattress when it shrieks in protest. 

Neither man speaks as he weaves through the tangles and knots. Growing up in a family with tender-headed brothers and sisters have given him tentative but gentle hands. Receiving such attention isn't a luxury but he treasures it just the same, admiring how his partner can provide a cushion for the inevitable discussion. 

“I never could find a support group I benefited from. I entered hopeful but seemed to leave with the same problem and attitude toward the problem,” Shunsui says. “We benefit from being willing and able to communicate through any problem. However, my partner shouldn't be a dumping ground for my emotions. Nobody should be receiving my negative emotions.” 

“Finding an appropriate group can be difficult.” Juushiro becomes caught on a difficult snarl. “Our caseworkers had a long discussion on our needs as a family, partners, individuals to decide the best group. Did you know even Retsu and Kenpachi sometimes need support? Burnout has no bias in picking their victims.” 

Burnout shouldn't remove a desire for his partner but he shudders to imagine Juushiro between his thighs, inside him, or just pressing against his back. Coming up with an apology is difficult when he’s never had the problem. Juushiro is usually the one murmuring how sorry he is. Usually, he's the one dabbing at Juushiros wet eyes and reminding him that sex isn’t a necessity. 

Now, Juushiro’s pinky catches a tear rolling down his chin. Shunsui collapses into his partner's lap with a heaving sob and shakes his head. He knows better than to press for answers. Instead, he waits, patient as his sobs threaten to shake the bed. A ‘good’ sleep won't cure his exhaustion. Taking some medication won't soothe the now splitting headache he's developing. Juushiro's pajama pants are becoming wet with tears and snort, something he really ought to apologize for but he can't get through the sniffles and sobs. Somewhere between a hiccup and body shaking sob, he reaches behind for his phone, pulling up a playlist and tries to hum along with the song. 

Shunsui hiccups again and raises his head, embarrassed over the state his face must he in. “How is this fair? I have a breakdown in your lap and you pull up our wedding song?” 

“I'm embarrassed about our wedding photos.” Juushiro pushes his hair from his wet face, raising his sleeve to wipe away stray tears. “You sang the song in my ear, leaving me a flustered mess. Never mind how our vows had me quaking and prepared to faint because someone couldn't get a grip and kept laughing because ‘we’re husbands now’. I could have collapsed against you as we danced. No one ever touched me with such care and consideration, not even the nurses I was meant to trust and there you were. I promised to be your partner through every trial we face, no matter how difficult.” 

“You took a vow but being my partner does not mean being dragged down beside me.” Shunsui dodges his worried stare. “I'm overwhelmed right now. Our children are hurting and it's not something I can come in and fix. How do I even fix myself?” 

“Our task as their parents isn't to ‘fix’ any trauma. Our task is to love our children and guide them toward appropriate choices, turning their mistakes into learning opportunities. Neglecting your own needs because someone else needs you isn't a task you should take on as either the parent or partner, though you always have been a generous man.” 

“You shouldn't be so red saying that.” 

“I'm trying to come up with a solution.” Juushiro's cheeks remain flaming red. “Let's give it some time to decide but how does a family weekend away sound? Try the support group. See whether you enjoy it and get established there. I'll arrange things on the other side.” 

His cheek warms beneath his palm, eyes softening under the dim glow of his phone screen. “I love you. Do you know that? I love you and I'm not saying this because I just cried in your lap and made your pajamas gross.” 

“Do you want to join me for a shower? No commitments, no requirements -- just a shower together because my pajamas are a little gross now. I'll even sing in your ear just like you did at our wedding.” 

“Yeah, I'll join you but just stay here for a few more minutes please.”

**Author's Note:**

> Juushiro and Shunsui's song is 'Killing Me Softly' sung by Roberta Flack. I really didn't intend on having any sex between them in this chapter but things changed, thus changing my outline completely. Now, it is time for the upsetting news. 
> 
> Monday, I unexpectedly lost my longtime pet, Mister Kitty. We knew it was inevitable as she was well into her twenties and her health was in a rapid decline, but it happened within minutes. I am not functioning well. I am struggling with remembering to do basic tasks (eat, drink) and seem to be getting ill now. I failed my driving test for the second time, and we just realized our youngest dog has a growth in his ear. 
> 
> Seems it is one thing after another and I am in a losing battle.
> 
> ETA: a man with 100 rounds of ammunition was stopped in a grocery store where I live. Really is one thing after another.


End file.
